Illusions revised
by bananamoonbelly
Summary: Twelve long years ago, a boy made his way from the world of the spirits in search of a girl he made a promise to. Now that Haku has found Chihiro, will she remember him or will they find themselves entangled in ungodly sorrow? REVISED
1. Twelve Years

Illusions By: Star_Gazer 

Space_Case2@hotmail.com

Wow. How fast time goes when you've forgotten to continue a story…And I know I have no excuses for this one. Gosh, I don't see how everyone has time to keep at these, I'm glad though, that others have far more zeal in them then I do!

This is an **updated** version of "Illusions." I found it on my computer and agreed with my muses that it might work better if I finished it in _this_ lifetime.

I also wanted to get the story back out there for all of the new faces, maybe some reviews will stimulate my fat, lazy, and rather incoherent muses…lol, no hope for the wicked, huh?

Illusions By: Star_Gazer 

Space_Case2@hotmail.com

            "Oh, Lina! That's awful! The poor guy…he probably just wanted to take you out to dinner!"

            "Saka, honestly, I was just trying to be logical with the man! It's not like he ran away crying!"

            "God, Lina, leave it to you to lead a guy on and then strip him of his pride."

            "Shut up, Chihiro! At least I can lead a guy on!"

            "Yeah, long enough to make him go running again." The table's occupants all burst into laughing at Chihiro's comment, except the red-faced brunet known as Lina.

            It had been a long morning for the trio, whom had sat down at their favorite restaurant for an early brunch. Chihiro, with her close friends Lina and Saka, decided to skip classes for the day to allow themselves a day off. Weeks had passed since Chihiro felt she was finally able to settle down with good friends over a meal socializing as if she were five years younger. 

            She felt happy, knowing that she had such people in her life.

            People that were now arguing over who paid the bill.

            "I just don't think I should have to do it, again." Saka announced whilst allowing her honey colored hair to flip evenly over her shoulders in response to an agitated Lina.

            "Why are you so damn stubborn all the time! Gosh! It's just a stupid bill!" Lina cut back, amber eyes growing paper thin in rebuttal.

            "Look you guys-"

            "Stay out of this Chihiro! We're trying to figure this out!"

            "Lina! Please! Just let me pay the bill! It's no big deal, okay? It's just a small amount…" Chihiro stated while opening her purse and searching around through it to find her wallet.

            "Chihiro! That's what you do every time we go out to eat here! I won't allow it again! We poor, starving college students have enough to cover something this small." Smiling at Chihiro's sigh, Lina picked up the bill and placed it down in front of her, reading it carefully. Reaching into her own handbag, she fought around a little to find her own wallet. Only in time for Saka to grab the bill and stand up.

            "Saka! Give that here! It's my turn to pay!" Lina looked up, a tad frustrated at the blonde.

            "It's okay Lina, really, I'll just handle it this once…" Daring Lina to challenge her, Saka put the bill in between them, "You know what? We'll do it like this, the first one to garb it is the one who gets to treat!"

            "You're on!" Lina, ready for a good gamble, stood up. But, before the two had another chance to even speak, Chihiro stood up herself, taking the tab with her to the front desk.

            "At least we're not like this when it comes to shopping..."

                                                            ~§~

            The cold wind flew over his face, numbing his already frozen expression. Stepping around the small black mounds of slush, gathered at the curbs, the man walked on into the night. Pulling his heavy black coat around him tighter, the stranger proceeded to round the corner when he, as if almost purposely, ran head-on into another frostbitten citizen.

                                                            ~§~

            The three friends had been window-shopping for the past hour now, what they called "budget shopping for college students," and Chihiro was personally getting rather tired of it, "Come on, Saka! There's only so many shoes you can buy before finding that you already own them!"

            "Stop stressing yourself over my shoe collection, would you? I'm just considering sales here!" Saka, obviously stalling in front of their location (a shore store), addressed to her chestnut haired friend.

            "Yeah, really, Saka! It's freaking cold out here! Do you think we could find someplace a little warmer?" Lina whined.

            "We could always go inside…" Saka proposed, shrugging her shoulders in mock to her suggestion as she pointed towards the store.

            "Not a day in my life," Chihiro called, before pulling her two friends away from the shoe-infested store, "Come on, I know a little coffee shop that's just around the corner." As they began walking again, two of them trying to keep up with Chihiro's pace, they caught up only in time to see their friend lying on her back in the snow.

            "Hey! Watch where you're going, mister! You almost hurt her!" Lina spat, crossing her arms over her chest, "That's not a very courteous thing to do to a lady!"

            "Lina! Don't be so rude. Apologize to him." Saka cut in, folding her arms across her chest.

            "Guys…" Chihiro dazedly spoke, sitting up in the snow while holding her head in her mitten-covered hand, "It's fine, really, I'm okay…" And then she woke up to the fact that there was someone across from her, someone she had knocked down as well, "Oh, God! I'm so sorry…sir…" Chihiro called, jolting up at full speed to help the person she had just collided with, "I'm terribly…sorry…" When she looked up, into the face of the person, her words ran off her tongue slower, losing their will to have any definite course.

            His eyes were so cold.

            Reluctant to speak and unable to turn away, Chihiro stood staring straight into the solid eyes of someone she could've swore she'd seen somewhere before.

            All she could see were his eyes.

            And those eyes bore into her very soul, seeing straight on through her.

 Testing her wits, Chihiro took one step closer to the strange man, and then another, and finally one more, taking in his familiarity to her memory, "Have we met?" Was all she said, the words barely escaping her mouth.

            And he didn't respond.

            He walked on, right past her, staring straight ahead of him.

            And without turning back, he continued his steps away from the three girls.

            "What's with him? Not even an apology!" Was all Lina had managed to say. Chihiro turned around, glaring at her friend.

            "Must you always say something so blunt in situations like that?" Chihiro, rolling her eyes now, turned to look at her other friend, "You too, Saka! And I thought you were more mature than me and Lina put together…wait, no, erase Lina from that cause she only drops my position to negatives…"

            "Hey!" Lina yelled, balling her hands into little fists, "That's not true!" The three walked down the roads, bursting into a small fit of giggles over their pervious encounter. They headed down the street together, arms linked, all three smiling. But Chihiro couldn't help but look back over her shoulder, hazel brown eyes staring off into the distance of the road where the stranger had went.

                                                            ~§~

            He walked on into the night, oblivious to his surroundings. Trudging on through the snow he forced himself to rethink what had just happened, to him, all too fast.

            He bumped into someone, knocking them over.

            They started to speak to him, but he was elsewhere.

            And…

            He could remember hazel brown eyes, big, stunning, coffee-colored eyes.

            _Was it her?_ His mind seemed to ask himself, unsure of his memory. _No, it couldn't have been…it's been far too long since I last saw her…why would I see her now…so easily?_ He argued back, fighting a twelve-year-long war inside of his mind, a battle he had fought with himself ever since he left the world of the spirits.

            Ever since he started looking for her.

            _Chihiro, where are you?_

                                                            ~§~

            "I really have to stop spending so much money on this damn thing…" Chihiro sighed, closing her laptop computer, throwing its battery charger into the nearest outlet to power-up for the night. Staring outside the window that stood next to her, Chihiro rose from her seat at her rather tiny, cluttered desk while grabbing her empty coffee cup. Walking into the small kitchen area in her even smaller apartment, Chihiro set the light green mug into the sink, "Too much studying isn't healthy," She said to her empty kitchen, while managing a yawn.

            She began to leave the room, when a little photograph hanging on the refrigerator caught her attention. "I remember that," she said, smiling to herself as she plucked the tiny square from under its magnet. "That was the day when we first moved into our blue house…" Chihiro laughed slightly, looking at the picture of her, her mom and dad, all standing in front of the said blue house. 

Then, she stopped when she noticed the greenery that stood out like black on white in the background, "And that forest…" Chihiro paused and took a closer look into the picture, "What's that? I've never noticed that there before. It looks like smoke from a chimney…ands there's so much of it," indeed, there was a small, barely noticeable line of smoke that trailed to the sky in the background of the photo, "I wonder if there was someone living back there in the forest?" 

Suddenly, she dropped the picture and nearly fell over. Catching herself in the process at the nearest counter, Chihiro opened her tired eyes to find her vision spinning, "Looks like I need some sleep…" Carefully heading off to her bedroom, Chihiro flicked the lights off, the photograph lying unmoved on the white-tiles of the kitchen floor.

            Climbing into bed, Chihiro's dreams were filled with obdurate green eyes.

                                                            ~§~

            "So, as you can tell, from this example that Yuki presented us with, the proper to discipline a student within the time limit of your lecture is to…" Chihiro blindly took notes to the session her Professor was reviewing, looking up at him every so often. Her Professor always rambled on, causing her to go through sheet after sheet of notebook paper. 

Somewhere in his discussion, Chihiro's thoughts began to wander, back to the event from the day before, _His eyes we're so cold…so...unmoving…like stone..._ Proceeding further into her memory, Chihiro recalled the stranger's face in what small detail she could, _I remember how I couldn't really see anything but his eyes…but…I could have sworn I saw a little more then that…I just…can't recall what…_ Pondering this new thought, Chihiro sighed, capturing the attention of her Professor.

            "Miss Ogino, care to add your two scents to the matter?" Stiffening under her lector's icy glower, the young women smiled stupidly and nervously retorted a comment.

            "That's quite alright, sir, just jotting down notes of your discussion…wouldn't want to interrupt…" Taking this as an apology, the older man continued with his session. Forty minutes later, Chihiro's class finally ended.

            "And remember, students: you're paper's are due next Tuesday, 9:30 am and no later! I don't accept late assignments!" Presentations will be on that day so come prepared-" The grumpy old man called out after his fleeting class, mumbling under his breath when he noticed that there was still one person left in his classroom. 

"What do you want, Ogino class is over."

"I know, sir, I just had a question, that's all." Chihiro spoke softly, allowing her hands to lace together behind her back.

            "This had better be good, Ogino, I have a meeting in less then fifteen minutes so make it fast."

            "I just wanted to know if there was a way I could hand that paper in earlier, sir." Chihiro gestured to her handbag, "I have it finished right now, sir." He seemed surprised at this piece of information. Though, he shook his head at the young woman before him.

            "I'm surprised, and somewhat impressed that you went ahead to finish it without today's lecture notes, but I'm sorry, I have to collect them all as a whole." Nodding slightly, Chihiro smiled and hurried out the door.

            "That Ogino…such a pain in the arse sometimes…good thing she's as bright as she is…"

                                                            ~§~

            "I can't believe him!" Chihiro almost yelled as she stalked off down the sidewalk, away from her campus grounds, "Professor Ruki makes me so irritated!" Chihiro raced outside as face as possible, only to notice briefly that it was snowing slightly. Running along the snow-covered, slippery walkway was not exactly the smartest thing to do, but Chihiro was in a hurry to get out of the cold, December air. Again, not looking where she was going, she ran straight into what felt like a solid wall.

                                                            ~§~

            He was late again for his class, running up the snowy sidewalk that lead to the tiny campus as fast as he could. His strong legs carried failed to give him any speed due to the snow, which was falling faster now. 

Hurrying down the barley visible sidewalk, he collided with something smaller than himself. Standing up quickly, he looked at the figure on the ground he had accidentally taken down with him. About to apologize, his tongue got tied before he could even stutter.

            And all he could say was her name.

                                                            ~§~

            "Chihiro…"

            Looking up was a typical reaction when someone called one's name, and Chihiro responded to this rule quicker than light.

            And she saw those same, frozen green eyes.

            "You…" she started, staring at him again, this time taking in his entire self, "You're…that guy I bumped into last week…" Faintly remembering back to that exact moment, as if to emphasize that to make her own shaking self believe this wasn't a dream. "Oh!" She blushed awkwardly, "I apologize! I shouldn't be so rude." Bowing her head in respect, Chihiro returned her gaze to the young man sitting in the snow across form her. 

Turning her head to its side, she stared at him briefly, as if recalling something. However, as fast as her look of contemplation came, it vanished. 

Taking in his slightly tall, well-built physique, sinfully straight green-black chin length hair, Chihiro felt that same familiarity lurking up her stomach again.

            But his eyes were what stood out the most.

            While she stood there, or rather sat upon the snow, he had little time to do his own observing.

            It was her.

            It was really her.

            She obviously grew taller, slim legs that reached a perfectly curved waist, stretching across a smooth stomach, and rounding off nicely at the top, a long neck that pillared a lovely divine face; he could tell she was in the prime state of her womanhood.

            But her eyes stood out the most to him, still, even with as many distractions she came equipped with.

            "Will you stop eyeing me like that?" Chihiro, cheeks red under his stare, tried her best not to sound rude, but ended up failing miserably. After all, who could feel comfortable under such a heavy gaze as his?

            "Chi- I mean, I' m sorry…?" He started then, stopping himself before repeating her name again. This time, he tried to make it look like he didn't know her name. So, standing up from off of the ground, he sighed almost sadly.

            "You know my name, obviously, so why are you pretending not to?" 

_Damn. Caught. _

She had caught onto him before he could cover himself. Something was strange about her though. 

Didn't she recognize him at all?

            She asked if she had meet him before, but the distant, unfamiliar look in her eyes told him she didn't remember him.

            At all.

            Perhaps all of those years had made her forget? 

            "Do I know you? Have we met?" She asked him again, as if reading his thoughts. He paused at this comment, and decided he had better not let himself slip.

            "No, we don't, we've never met before."

After all, she would think he was crazy if he told her the truth.

            "Oh…" She stated ever so simply, and returned her gaze to the snow, as if being incorrect about it made her recollect her thoughts. Then, he realized that she was still on the ground.

            "Oh, Sorry! I just left you there, here, let me help you up…" Chihiro, lifting her gaze to meet his, slowly reached up her own hand to touch his. And gloved hand met gloved hand.

            But she could have sworn she felt something jolt through her.

            Of course, as fate would have it, Chihiro lost her balance, falling forwards, landing clumsily in his arms, "S-Sorry!" She managed before turning her head away in a furious blush. He smiled but said nothing, enjoying the feel of her in his arms at long last.

            And for once in twelve damned years, he was happy.

The snow danced around them, glittering as it fell downwards from the skies. Shimmering against the blanket of snow, the sun's dim rays seemed enough to light the entire scene without a single imperfection. 

Standing still in the middle of everything, silent to one another, stood Chihiro and the stranger she had bumped into twice. Then, in the midst of everything, he nearly jumped.

            "Oh great…" The stranger looked down at his watch and pulled a hand through his hair on nervous habit, "I'm late for class…" Releasing Chihiro reluctantly, the stranger bent over to gather all of his belongings that he had dropped into the snow.

            "Oh! I'm sorry, let me help you!" Chihiro called dropping to the ground to help him get everything he had scattered in the snow. Once she bent over though, she accidentally banged heads with him, causing him to fall into her lap.

            He realized where he was.

            And almost jumped up. 

            But he didn't move.

Chihiro managed a smile and started giggling really hard, "That tickles!" Flopping her legs around, she opened them far enough so that his head fell through into the snow beneath her, "I'm sorry!" She said, still laughing. Coming back up for air was the unnamed man she had just met, spitting snow out of his mouth.

"Thanks for the warning." Laughing, Chihiro opened her eyes barely wide enough to see that the stranger, this bizarre man she kept running into, was smiling at her. When she saw how messy his hair was, she burst out laughing again.

            And her eyes twinkled with so much life.

            The two picked themselves up from the snow and remained quiet, until he spoke up, "Look, I'm sorry about all that, I'll be careful next time I decide to run like a lunatic through the snow…" He gave her a polite bow, although he seemed slightly hesitant to leave, "Well, I'll…see you around then?"

            "Yeah…" Was all she answered before watching his back as he smiled and nodded, heading off quickly again down the path. 

She forgot to ask him something.

            "Hey! Wait!" She called out to him, he turned around, "What's your name!?" At this he seemed surprised at.

            "My name is Haku."

                                                            ~§~

            Haku came trudging into the classroom…forty-five minutes after it had started…

            "Haku, how nice of you to join us…almost an hour late…" His Professor looked up from his lecture to acknowledged the student rather sarcastically, "And I'm sure you've come with a good excuse…?"

            After class finished, Haku, opening his car door, deciding to himself those twelve lengthy years were worth his wait.

            And he would make sure that they wouldn't wasted any longer.

            He was determined to make her remember him.

                                                            ~§~

            "_Haku_? That's _all_ you got, was his _name_? No last name? Not even a number?"

            "Nope."

            "Well then, girlie, _no_ last name, _no_ phone number, then _what_?"

            "Well _sor-ry_! It's not like I had the time to ask him anything else!"

            "Lina's got a point, Chihiro. Come on, you were in a sinking soap-opera scene! _Snowy field of reflecting sunlight, Gazing into the eyes of your beloved_-"

            "Seriously! Stop it, you two!" Chihiro groaned, still shaking from Haku's touch. After she rushed home, she had called the two up, and they all now sat around her living room, hugging pillows and eating mint ice cream, "I don't know him that well, but I think I know him…from somewhere…"

            "Well…" Lina started, rubbing her chin lightly, "Did you tell him your name, at least?"

            "No," Chihiro innocently shrugged, "He already knew it."

            "_Excuse me?_ I don't think I heard you right." Saka spoke, eyeing Chihiro skeptically. 

            "He knew my name-" Chihiro started to say but was abruptly cut off by Lina.

            "He knew your name? Before you told him?" At this, Chihiro nodded, "Sounds like a _stalker_ to me!"

            "Will you stop, he _is not_ a stalker!" Chihiro's cheeks puffed up defensively.

            "And how do you know that?" Saka added in, poking Chihiro in the ribs.

            "Sounds like you better keep your eyes peeled, to me, Chihiro. Either he knows your named cause he really, really likes you (even though he doesn't even know you), or he's a stalker." Lina finished, a slightly worried expression gracing her features.

            "Stop it, you!" Chihiro laughed and threw a pillow smack dab in the middle of Lina's face. Saka joined in with another.

            Chihiro, though preoccupied, couldn't help but wonder what her green-eyed stranger was up to…

_            Haku? _Where_ have I heard that before…?_

                                                                        ~§~

            It was freezing in her apartment by the time she opened her eyes, "Thank god I don't have classes today…" She called out to the two sleeping lumps besides her on the floor. Chihiro, somewhat of an early riser, stretched with a loud yawn, and stepped over the two sleeping forms. Moving to the kitchen after assuming that she had fallen asleep very late last night in her living room, on the frigid floors, she concluded that she would start breakfast.

            Hours later brought the petite brunet to the library downtown in order to complete the presentation part of her project due next week. Training to be a high school teacher wasn't it all it was cracked up to be. Chihiro still had a lot she needed to learn and several more years to go before getting even her first degree.

Searching the rows upon rows upon rows, the young woman turned a corner a bit too sharp and-

            Don't even guess whom she ran into.

            "You know, we really have to stop meeting like this."

            "Haku!" She called out, laughing as he stretched down a hand to pull her up by.

            "And what brings you here?" He asked, noticing the books she'd dropped, picking them up, he read them aloud, "Teaching Course; Ninth grade and up? 9th-12th Grade Teaching?" Chihiro looked up, taking the two books from him.

            "My carrier choice is to be a high school teacher." Chihiro smiled. An older lady with thick, curly gray hair, arranging books on a nearby self looked over at them.

            "Shh! This is a library! If you want to converse, go somewhere else."

            "Ah, so I see, that you like teaching, then." Haku laughed, seemingly ignoring the older lady and focusing on Chihiro.

            "What about you? I saw you running into the college the other day…?" Chihiro also paid very little attention to the librarian and more attention on Haku.

            "Shh!" Came the rusty voice of the librarian once again.

            "Actually, I want to get into Architecture."

            "Be quiet or leave!" The librarian yelled in a whisper, "Out!"

            "Doesn't that take a lot of years in college?" Chihiro laughed a little too loudly because the next thing the two knew, they were thrown out of the library.

            "Well, so much for that…" Haku chukled, "Do you think she was mad?"

            "Who that librarian? Nah!" Chihiro started giggling, Haku adding in his rich, deep laugh to her higher one.

            "Well then, M'lady, where are you off to?" Haku asked, taking Chihiro's arms in his own, "I know this great little restaurant down the road if you would be interested in joining me?" With a cheery smile and a laugh, Chihiro joined arms with him and began down the street.

                                                            ~§~

            It was literally late when the two came stumbling through the front door of Haku's apartment, laughing and giggling like there was no end to it. They spent the entire day together; swinging from one place to another and neither of them had ever had a more wonderful experience.

            In fact it was so wonderful, that Haku had insisted that the night go on.

            So here they were joking and laughing inside of his apartment living room. After brewing some hot cocoa, the two sat upon the couches and slowly began to shimmer down as Haku lit the fireplace. The two then sat there.

            In complete silence.

            "So…" Chihiro started.

            "So…" Haku followed.

            And they were silent again.

            "Okay, um, say something…" Chihiro began, taking a large sip from her mug.

            "Okay…you're truly…" Haku hesitated for a moment, closing his eyes, "…very beautiful."

            _Splat._

All of Chihiro's contents she had just taken up, spat right back into her cup in shock, "Excuse me?" She asked, slightly taken aback.

            "I said, you're beautiful." He finished, not taking his eyes off of her.

            And the light from the fireplace seemed to glow a little warmer on his skin, making him look twice as honest to her.

            "I-I-" Chihiro stuttered, swallowing the lump that formed in her throat. Chuckling with a heavy, husky tone, Haku made his way to sit next to Chihiro on the loveseat she cursed herself for picking. 

            Haku was driving her insane. If not just his very image breathtaking her, now he was twice as close to her.

Bringing an arm around the girl, Haku brought his lips to her ear, and pressed down so lightly, he barely touched her. 

At this, she went completely ridged.

            And then he brought his hand around to her side and pulled her closer to him. Whispering into her hair, he kissed everywhere his lips touched, "Don't you remember me? Chihiro…twelve years ago…twelve long years ago?" She shook her head once, not understanding, but feeling another twang of remembrance rising to claim her.      

            Haku, losing his own sanity, began to slowly trace his lips down her neck, carefully, as though not to startle her, "You can't remember?" He whispered again, this time almost sounding hurt. He came to her collarbone…

            And stopped.

            "I can't do this then…not without you knowing… or remembering me. You never knew how…much I…" He hesitated here, "…I loved you…how I missed you…" His voice trailed off in a painful whisper. 

Chihiro gasped, bringing a hand to her mouth, she realized his words…

            _He loved me?_

            "Haku…" She started, bringing him close again, after he had already pulled away, "Haku…"

            "No, I can't…it…isn't right…not when I have to sit here, knowing that can't even remember me…" Tears fought themselves to fall from the man's eyes. Burning, flesh-melting tears he could no longer sustain.

            So he cried.

            Twelve years worth pain and suffering that he had left the Spirit World in order to receive. Twelve years and he was just now finding her…

            How fast time could travel.

            Chihiro didn't know what to do…she wished there was something she could do to remember him…something she could say to make everything better…

            But she only seemed to make it worse.

            "I'll leave," She said and started to stand, he looked up at her, as if a ruined man.

            "No…don't leave me…again…" He seemed better now, somewhat, but those eyes.

            They were so sad.

            She reached up, wiping each and every last one of them away, "To hell with memory!" Chihiro smiled sadly at him, cupping his face in her hands. With his forehead against hers, she whispered to him through thick lashes, "I don't care whether I remember that I loved you at one _time_, _tonight_, or in another _lifetime_, all I know is that I love you _now_." Bringing her lips to his, daringly, she pressed every little bit of her soul into him.

            And he kissed her back, living that moment by her words.

            They stayed wrapped in each other's arms. He filled in this moment with everything he harbored within for all of this time.

Everything that he had believed to be lost.

He held her firmly, unwilling to release her. 

            He couldn't stand waiting so long without even being able to hold her.

            And she wrapped herself around this man, this being who said he loved her all this time, this beautiful, irreplaceable, captivating person.

            She didn't care what she had shared with him, all of those impossible memories that lie beyond her reach, in a time and place that no longer registered to her, Something, something deep inside her told her that this was right. And that this man was right for her.

            He kissed her again, making sure she knew that every ounce of him was living only for her.

            She had never been held like this before.

            And he would never hold another like this.

            Wrapped up in Haku's arms, Chihiro fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

            "I'll make you remember me, little one, no matter what…I only hope you'll forgive me if I've made a grave mistake…"

                                                            _

To be continued in part two. Read and Review and find out what happens in the next, second, and last part to Illusions!

                                                            _

My email is _still_  Space_Case2@hotmail.com if anyone has anything to say. I'm always ready for whatever's out there, from collective comments to collective criticism. I'm sure a lot of you have some rather colorful language awaiting me after my long…extrusion…lol…

But fear not! I _am_ working on the last part! *Runs from angry mob with tar and feathers* I swear!

-StarGazer


	2. Eternity

Illusions By: Star_Gazer 

Space_Case2@hotmail.com

…wow…what's it been? A year? Two? Two sounds a little more accurate…Anyway, I saw this sitting on my computer and thought, "I never _did_ finish that, did I?"

            So here I am, long after everyone has forgotten me, I'm sure. I feel like I've been gone for a century…

            Did you guys notice that my name changed from 'Star_Gazer' to 'Star_Gazer20'?

Kinda funky…

            First, I just want to apologize –deeply- for all of those out there who read my story and waited an eternity for me to update…only to find out that I never did.

So, without hesitation, here's the conclusion to, "Illusions."

**By the way_ thoughts_ are in _Italics_. Although there's also words emphasizing situations and so forth in _Italics_ as well. But you're smart, you'll recognize the difference, I'm sure! ^.~**

Illusions By: Star_Gazer20 

Space_Case2@hotmail.com

            Haku sat before the fireplace, the glow reflecting off the room in an almost unearthly way. With his chin propped up by two arms, Haku gave a groan and rubbed his face with the palms of his hands.

What the hell had he done?

            This wasn't how it was supposed to be, he wasn't supposed to find her, at all. This was a mistake he should have never made. And she wasn't supposed to say she loved him.

She loved him… 

He should have never even come here.

            He was surprised that she had said something so brash. How did she know if she loved him? How could she know if she ever had before if she didn't even remember him?

He didn't blame her though. He had been too forward with her, too anxious to see her. 

            For twelve years he had known what would happen if this moment came. He predicted the worst would ensue. He almost was glad she _didn't_ remember him.

After all, there was something he regretted. Something he didn't want her to regret.

            Something that separated him and Chihiro like the back of his hand from his shoe, something he had no power over. Something that was as unchangeable as his feelings for her were.

Time. 

Time was their permanent enemy.

            There was nothing he could do about it. Despite the fact that he would gladly wait an eternity for her, she didn't have an eternity to wait.

Because he was a god.

            He lived forever. Nothing about him died, only changed over time. She, however, experienced time with limit.

Because she was a human.

            And there was nothing he could do about that. Nothing even a major god could do; this was just the way life went.

            Haku deeply regretted that he found her in the first place. What was even worse is that she didn't even know he _was_ a god.

            Of course, he could stay with her. He could age with her; change himself to fit whatever she needed, whatever their time together would call for. He could provide for her, and keep her safe and happy.

But he could not die with her.

            This, above all, sorrowed him most. That he wouldn't be there to softly close his eyes with her, falling asleep to peaceful eternity after they had lived a long, content life with each other. No, he would not be there to greet her on the other side.

After all, he was eternally of the earth.

            Nothing would change him and make him of the heavens, not one god could alter his position. Fate would never allow him to create such a destiny for himself.

And the cruelest thing of all was the fact that she would die.

            Call him selfish, brash, and even ignorant, but nothing would wound him more than the fact that _she_ would leave _him_ to death.

            Sure, she might be reborn, but it would never be the same.

It couldn't be the same.

            Haku's sad, jade eyes fell on the figure that lie across his couch. He didn't make any notion to move to her, he simply stared.

            _Will you ever forgive me, Chihiro?_

Turning his head away in shame, Haku chuckled bitterly at the situation.

She couldn't even hear him.

            The heat flickered over her sleeping body in soft hues of yellow and orange, illuminating her milky white skin. The faintest stain of a blush tinted her cheeks even as she slept, causing his eyes to become avidly soft.

            _She's got to be an illusion. Nothing in the world is ever that breathtaking._

            He stood and walked around to where she slept, bending down. For a moment he simply studied her, contemplating whether or not to pick her up. Deciding against it, he stood and began to leave, only to stop and turned to look at her again.

            _There is little I can do now to change what's happened in such a short period of time._

            He smiled and softly kissed her forehead.

            _But I swear by all of time, by every change I will undergo, and by every god, that I will never love another other then you, Chihiro. Never again, even if I face the end of eternity alone._

Eyes growing heavier, Haku fell asleep besides the couch, holding Chihiro's hand as his only lifeline.

            _There will never be another to replace you in my heart._

~§~

            Chihiro Groaned; how long had she been asleep?

What time was it anyway?

            As the blanket gathered in her lap, Chihiro rose tiredly and struggled to see against the blare of the sun coming though the window across from her.

Why was it so bright in here? She didn't recall having a _window_ in her bedroom.

Or a _couch_.

Or a black-green-haired man slumped next to her, holding her hand.

Wait. Where _was_ she?

            Wasn't that Haku? What was he doing in here apartment? Or better yet, what was _she_ doing in _his?_

            Looking down at his sleeping figure, cast in the warm, friendly rays of sunlight, she sighed and carefully removed her hand from his. Sitting up further, she swung her feet over the edge to the floor and attempted not to step on his sleeping form.

She had to get out of here.

            Walking away from the couch she stretched and hurried to the door to find her shoes. Hastily throwing them on along with her winter coat, Chihiro grabbed the front door knob and opened it to her freedom.

Not before turning around and giving him one last look.

~§~

            He watched her from the window as she ran across the length of the snow-covered lawn beneath his apartment building. Sadly, he smiled at her departing figure.

            "Wouldn't even stay for breakfast…"

~§~

            She couldn't believe it! She could _not_ believe what she had done.

_What she has said to him._

            All Chihiro could think while dashing away from the apartment building in the snowy weather was that this all, somehow, had to be a dream.

An absolutely crazy, psychotic dream.

            But somehow, Chihiro knew for certain that it was real, the whole nine-yards of it. One way or another, she had ended up meeting up with the same stranger she kept running into, spent the day with him, the night over at his place…

Not to mention he told her he loved her.

            And of all the stupid things for her to do, to follow her inebriated heart and tell him she loved him too. He was a stranger! Someone she hardly knew!

Oh, and they had made-out on his sofa by firelight…

            _Okay_, so _some_ things she didn't regret as much as others, if she even regretted the entire thing at all.

Did she?

            Haku had been so sincere when he told her he cared about her, so gentle when he touched her. There was no way this was happening to her.

It _was_ a dream because there was _no_ man alive who could kiss _that_ well.

No man that she had ever met waited twelve years for her.

            He had said so much to her, and she had been so tired. Hadn't he said that he's missed her? She remembered how he claimed they knew each other from somewhere before. And they had been alone together…

Wait. He…_didn't do_…did he?

            Blushing at her own insecurity, Chihiro found her way to the coffee shop she usually went to on Saturday mornings- or mid-morning, today.

~§~

            This couldn't go on forever, and he knew that he had to find her. Sitting up from his kitchen table, Haku sighed and went to the hallway, which lead to his front door.

Something had to be done.

            Grabbing a random coat that hung by the door, Haku flung the door open and rushed out into the snowy day.

~§~

            She took her coat off and placed it on the back of her chair, before sitting down at the small, table-for-two. A warmly smiling waitress came and offered Chihiro a menu, which she took with a polite bow.

            Glancing through the folder of coffees and desserts alike, although she had most of them memorized by heart now, Chihiro sighed.

If nothing would ease her right now, it would be a cup of hot, freshly brewed coffee. After all, coffee always made well her stress.

            Pulling herself away from the tantalizing foods and drinks on the menu, Chihiro sunk further inside her thoughts. Maybe she did regret what she did with Haku. Maybe she regretted the whole thing and felt nothing for him.

Maybe she was just trying to escape from a loneliness that always had seemed to reside within her.

            So now what? She thought to herself bitterly. Should she trust Haku? Should she go to the police and assume rape? Would anyone believe her? Maybe if she told her…no, her father would sue the boy blind if she told her parents. Besides, she'd tell her friends before she'd tell her parents.

Or would she?

            Chihiro recalled how Lina and Saka always babied her, poking fun at her past crushes in the two years of college they had all known each other. Maybe it would be wise if she were to seek the advice of close friend, however, Chihiro couldn't make herself bring her two companions into this whole ordeal.

After all, would they even take her seriously?

            This wasn't some run of the mill event, Chihiro mused, this was something that even she was unsure of where it would end up going.

Just how honest was Haku?

            And more importantly, on her part, was he really a part of her past or was he just lying to her about that? 

            She sighed to herself. No, she would keep this to herself. If she couldn't figure it out, then no one would be able to.

            Grumbling crossly, Chihiro turned her head when the sound of two familiar voices filed into the coffee shop. 

            Chihiro nearly jumped up in surprise as she saw Saka and Lina enter, laughing about something Lina said. So, using her menu as a shield, she hid herself from their view as they took a table behind her. Chihiro was about to leave when she thought she heard her name…

            "I haven't seen her all morning.  I tried calling twice but no one answered." Lina said, sighing as she flipped through a menu.

            "That's not like Chihiro. Maybe something happened? Do you think she's okay?" Saka added, glancing at Lina worriedly. Lina merely waved a hand without looking up from her menu.

            "Naw, I saw her just yesterday with some guy. She looked perfectly safe. She probably went to his place to crash for the night." Despite Lina's nonchalance, Saka all but rose from her seat and slammed a fist unto the table. Lina looked up at this, however.

            "Don't worry!? She could've been raped!"

            "No, I doubt it, Chihiro's smarter than that. Besides, it was probably just that Haku guy she kept running into. Chill out, Saka, you'll have another hernia if you don't settle down."

            "I'm telling you! That Haku is a complete _stranger_! How do we know she's even safe with him?" Chihiro nearly screamed in frustration as she pushed the two arguing voices to the background. Forcing herself to her feet while grabbing her coat from it's hanging place on the back of her chair, Chihiro cautiously made her way to the door with success, leaving the menu on her vacant table.

Perhaps it was still to early for coffee.

~§~

            Chihiro found herself hurrying to get back to her apartment before she ran into anyone _else._

            Thinking again about Lina and Saka, Chihiro silently agreed to herself that she had made the right decision not to tell the two. It's not that Chihiro didn't trust them, in fact she do so with her life-

Well, Saka at least. She wasn't so sure placing _anyone's_ life into Lina's hands was such a bright idea…

            Chihiro saw her building come into sight, smiling and giving the thoughts about her friends one last over glance, she smiled.

They were only concerned about me. For that, I'm not going allow them to know anything else. That why, they won't have to worry even more for my safety.

            Chihiro climbed the stairs to the fifth floor and raced to the door that was her own. Smiling in a way that released her tensions, Chihiro stopped at her door and rummaged around in her coat pocket for her keys. Where had she put those blasted things…

Finding them, Chihiro placed them into the lock, only to find that the door was already open…

~§~

            She looked around; many of the lights that she had turned off yesterday morning were all on.

Strange, who could be in my apartment? No one else has a key but myself. 

            Readying one of her shoes in the air just in case some madman was to pop out of nowhere, Chihiro, rounded the corner of the living room.

And there, sitting on her couch, woman's magazine in hand, was Haku.

            He looked up at her like he lived there, acknowledging her presence briefly before turning back to his reading, "You girls actually _read _this stuff?" Haku said, a disgusted look on his face as he quoted various articles, "'How to Make Him Want You: Ten Easy Steps.' 'How to Shave Without Getting Those Nasty Little Bumps.' Oh and this one's certainly a life changer! 'Victoria Secret's Advice Column,' this week's advice, 'What to Wear On Prom Night." Chihiro stared at Haku, mouth agape.

"What the _hell_ are you doing in my apartment?"

            Haku looked up at her unfazed and patted the seat next to him. Tossing the magazine back on the coffee table in front of him, Haku turned serious.

            "Sit down and I'll tell-" But before he could finish, Chihiro burst into hysterics.

            "Sure as hell you'll tell me! What do you want with me anyway!? Why do you keep following me around! Stop _stalking_ me!" At this, Haku looked at her bewildered.

            "Chihiro…" He tried. But she would have none of it.

            "No, Haku, I don't even know if I can trust you!" If she was planning on saying anymore, she wouldn't have been able to, because Haku slammed her up against the nearest wall with ungodly speed and defined precision before she could.

            Gazing fearfully at him from behind the hands she raised in front of her face, Chihiro whimpered.

His look was so cold, the coldest she had ever seen him wear.

            Haku didn't bother talking at first, he merely sighed and loosened his hold on her, although he did not release her entirely.

            His hands found their way around her waist while his head fell upon the nap of her shoulder blade. She could feel as his hands betrayed him and began to wander.

_This is it-_ Was all Chihiro could think above the pounding of her heart _He's going to…going to…to…_

She tensed further when she felt his breath on her ear. Then, in the merest of whispers, he spoke to her with a gentle hum of his voice echoing off the walls of her ears.

            "Such a beautiful sound, your heart makes, its melody surely must be an envy to even the gods…"

            Chihiro choked back a sob that she suspected would've come out as a moan if she had not suppressed it. When she found her voice, Chihiro questioned her confusion at his words, "..gods?" She could feel the curve of Haku's soft lips turn upward in a content smile against her earlobe. Then, gently, he kissed it, leaving her to shudder violently in delight.

            "We see everything, little one…" Haku whispered, once again, into Chihiro's ear, "How else would I be here." Nuzzling her hair, Haku kissed a trail down to her shoulder. Chihiro, in response, craned her neck to give him more access, "How else would I return."

            "A god?" Chihiro found herself saying, "You are no god." Haku didn't respond but kissed his way lower past her shoulder blade. Chihiro, despite her disbelief of his claim of heavenly divinity, was unable to stop herself from reacting to his touches. 

            "I came back to retrieve what was taken away from me."

Behind a moan, she spoke barely above a whisper, "A god would never make that mistake; leaving something precious behind as you say you had done, so long ago." Haku stopped then, slowly nestling his way back to her face. Looking her in the eyes with an almost fatal look, Haku pressed his forehead against her own.

A flutter of memory flew deep within her mind, only to settle as soon as it had come.

            "The only reason I left, was to find you. I promised you something then, and I intended on keeping it."

Chihiro looked at him confused, "What did you promise me?"

            "That we would met again one day."

The two stood in silence. Chihiro stared ahead at the intensity of his eyes and wanted to believe him…

But she was too scared. This wasn't going to work.

            Pushing him away from her, which surprised him, Chihiro smoothed out her clothes and rushed into her bedroom, "This is ridiculous!" He could hear her shouting from the other room and decided to wait until she came back out.

When Chihiro returned, however, she held a suitcase in one arm and her purse in the other.

Haku just stared at her blankly.

            "Promise me something else, Haku?" Chihiro said, walking towards the door, "Leave me the hell alone. I don't know what life of mine you were in before, but you don't belong in this one." Haku could only watch the door slam.

So _this_ was how it was.

_This_ is how he would spend the rest of eternity.

Like hell he would let that happen…

~§~

            Chihiro made her way down the busy streets of Tokyo that were filled with people and snow wherever one looked.

That was a disaster.

            Struggling to keep up with the bustling crowds, Chihiro dug through her purse extracting a small purple cell phone while managing to keep one hand firmly grasped around her suitcase handle. Placing her purse strap back over her shoulder, Chihiro proceeded to dial a number quickly while balancing her cell phone expectedly between shoulder and ear.

Not to mention that she was cutting her way through the crowds to the train station.

            When Chihiro's serious, frantic face went to happy and relieved, someone picked up on the other end, "Hi, mom? This is Chihiro; I'm going to be visiting for a little while."

~§~

            Chihiro sighed, lying on her bed staring at the ceiling.

It was a good thing she came home. Nothing helped more than just going home.

            _Home,_ She mused, wondering if he, Haku had a home. In truth, she had tried to forget about him, push him to the back of her mind.

But that didn't work; that _never_ worked.

            It had been a full week since Chihiro fled from her own apartment seeking refuge from a certain river god. Since then, Chihiro stayed with her unaware parents and relaxed for the break she had. She called her friends after she got here, explaining where she was.

And she had also called the college, dropping her classes.

            Her parents, although finding their daughter's decision to drop out of college for the meantime shocking, felt concern for the obvious signs of depression they believed Chihiro to be expressing. Even though Chihiro wasn't particularly depressed, she did feel something akin to lonely.

            Staring outside her bedroom window as another stray, unkempt thought of Haku drifted across her mind, Chihiro nearly screamed in frustration and turned away her head.

She didn't even notice her cheeks were wet.

The next thing Chihiro heard was a sob that escaped her throat.

~§~

            Yuuko was happy to she Chihiro back home, she really was, but this had to stop. Sighing as the mother placed the last of the towels into the closet next to Chihiro's room.

What was making her cry so much?

            Yuuko had wanted to act her place as mother and try to help her daughter, but she felt a strange distance that the two now shared.

You feel that way because your only child is all grown up. The little voice in the back of her mind gently said, while she always has a home and family here, there are still other place and people she's come to love the same.

Love?

            Yuuko prodded that thought and smiled.

So her daughter was in love.

~§~

            The weather was nicer; warmer, here. Chihiro sighed, gazing out into the blackness that was the night, through her bedroom window. Her tear-stained cheeks had dried no long ago, as Chihiro gazed at the thunderstorm outside of her window.

Yes, the weather at home was far more warmer than the wintry Tokyo.

            Chihiro was restless, like something was crawl under her skin; an itch that she couldn't find nor reach to scratch.

            Anther sound of thunder and Chihiro could've swore she heard something. Glancing at the large, red numbers blaring '12:45 a.m.' on her clock, Chihiro shrugged it off as the storm.

But then she heard something again.

            Aggravated, Chihiro grabbed her robe and exited her room, softly padding down the hallway to the stairs. As Chihiro made her way down the steps, she carefully examined her surroundings, watching for any slight movements. When she found one, she nearly laughed stupidly.

Just a stupid branch tapping against the window next to the door. How foolish of me to think…Chihiro smiled and turned around to head back upstairs.

            Then she felt something. Something that echoed off her heartbeat rather her ears.

What was that…I just…felt? Like…running water…

            Turning around Chihiro stared back at the door. For some reason, when she looked at the door, she felt that same felling again…

Running water? Could it be because of the rain?

            Chihiro, interested in the feeling she got every time she looked at the front door, took a breath and held it, while taking a step closer to the entrance.

The feeling got stronger. Every steps she took, it grew more frantic.

            Once she found her hand on the doorknob, Chihiro released her breath, and held another one. Unlocking the deadbolt with her other shaky hand, Chihiro threw the door open in a quick clumsiness that ended up making her nearly fall backwards.

There, standing drenched in the rain outside of her house, was Haku; smiling at her warmly.

What the hell?

            She wanted to move but she couldn't; to speak, but her voice was also silent, instead, she found herself mouthing out words to him.

Why are you here?  She asked him, moving her lips slowly to form the words. He smiled wider, if possible and responded to her through the glass.

            Chihiro's eyes widened even more.

He…he…had mouthed out…had said to her…

He was here for her.

            She brought a hand up to the glass door the separated them, he walked up to it, placing his hand over hers from the other side. She could barely make out his voice as he spoke, but managed to, somehow.

            "Always separated…that's how it seems we meet." His sad, olive eyes reached hers, "I have opened my door to you, won't you, yours?" The last of his sentence came out as a whisper. Haku, closing his eyes, pressed his forehead to the glass. Chihiro watching his movements, seemed somewhat surprised, if not saddened. So, closing her eyes as well, Chihiro placed her forehead up against the glass where they would've touched.

            "You opened a door that I'm not sure I recall, or if I ever will again. However, I'm willing to try." With that, Chihiro opened the door that separated them.

            Haku immediately stole her away into his arms in the deepest hug imaginable.

            Within his arms, Chihiro laughed bitter-sweetly at the story that had become her life, "I will try, Haku, because I know in my heart that nothing is truly forgotten, you just can't always recall it."

            Haku smiled, and took Chihiro further into his arms, if even possible.

Perhaps there was hope; there was always hope.

And that hope would be his foundation with her; the support beam of their hearts.

Is there's one thing time would never steal from them, it was love.

Because he knew he would love her that long.

~Fin~

            Wow, almost two on a school night, I'm a bad girl! Lol! Read and Review, I'm just dying to know how everyone loved the conclusion to "Illusions." Did anyone understand why I called it that anyway? Go do some deep thinking if you can't!

            (Did you guys also catch Zenbia's quote at the end? )

-StarGazer20


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